This is what I hope to achieve in ’09:

• No more apologies.  I’m not sorry for anything anymore.  I do this too much and it paints a picture of me as someone who’s weak.  No one ever apologizes to me, so why should I?
• By the same token, I’m going to be a better person and not do the things I would normally need to apologize for.   In all things, I want to set a good example for my daughter – including watching my mouth.  I cuss like a sailor and she’s just now starting to learn how to speak.  That ain’t good.
• Be nicer to my wife.  I’m too hard on her for a lot of things.  I gotta learn to relax.
• Be more productive at work – even if I don’t get rewarded for it.  I feel I do good work, but I could be better.
• Improve my focus.  I have to accept the fact that I’m not a good multitasker, and cut out the distractions.
• Speak my mind more often, regardless of the consequences.  I’m going to start by confronting my bosses about the fact that I got passed over for a raise in favor of a guy who sleeps in his chair at work.   I don’t want to be a doormat, and I’m going to speak up when I feel I or someone else is getting the shaft (like, for example, a couple weeks ago when I felt a co-worker was unnecessarily chewed out in a very rude fashion over email and I said nothing about it).  However…..
• I’m not going to be relentlessly negative about everything.  Nobody likes that guy.
• Get more sleep.  When I wake up in the morning craving brains, that’s not a good sign.  And on a related note….
• Cut down on the things I get myself involved in.  I have too many interests and activities, and I fool myself into thinking I have enough time for all of them.  I’m a dad.  I don’t have that kind of time anymore.  I have to be more realistic.
• Be more consistent.  I waffle too much in my opinions.  I’m going to pick a side and stick with it.
• Blog more.   This has the added bonus of adding more stuff to my Facebook profile, since I’ve got that set up already.  (Hi, Facebook.)  I’m going to give it my best shot to do a weekly update type of thing.  I’ve said this in the past and always regretted not sticking with it.  I’m going to try a Monday schedule and see how it goes.
• Increase my Xbox gamerscore to 25,000 by the end of ’09  – it currently stands at 15,535 after finishing off Gears of War 2.  And I’ll give it my best shot to do this legit; I’m going to actually play the games I already own, not seek out those with easy gamerscore. (As an aside: I know that the concept of gamerscore on Xbox 360 is silly to some, and turns others off.  I grew up in an era where games were played to achieve the highest score, not to simply finish the game.  Having your initials on the top of the leaderboard – we didn’t have room for a full name, for God’s sake – was a badge of honor, one you wore proudly.  I view Xbox Live gamerscore as an extension of that.)
• Find ways to control my spending and expenses.  My credit card debt is obscene.
• I’m not going to say I’m resolving to elmiinate my debt by the end of the year, but I want to make a big dent in it.  Lower it by 50%, at least.

I think that’s enough of a list to keep me busy.  Happy New Year, everyone.

That probably seems obvious to most, but since it seemingly wasn’t explicitly mentioned anywhere, I conducted an experiment (thanks Mike!) and thought I should mention the results in case anyone else out there wondered about this.

Also, a clarification: the other day, I said that those without children who don’t have the experience should just shut up. That’s not really what I should have said. Advice is always welcomed; I don’t ever want to discourage that. But there’s a difference between someone who passes along a helpful hint that he has perhaps learned from a sibling with a child, versus the childless know-it-all who tells you you’re doing it all wrong.

I became a proud daddy on December 1st, 2007, when my daughter Sarah Briana was born. She weighed in at 6 pounds, 9 ounces and was 20 inches long. (As of today – the latest doctor’s visit – she’s up to 9.5 pounds and 23 1/4 inches. They really do grow fast! We’re going to have to test her formula for HGH.)

Here’s a whimsical little summary of some of the things I’ve learned from my first two months of being a parent. (Yeah, it’s long, but I haven’t posted in three months so I’m entitled, right?)

• I witnessed unspeakable things of a biological nature in the birth room which I could not possibly have gone through myself (assuming I were female). My wife, however, is an amazing woman who handled all these things with incredible poise and courage, never once breaking down emotionally or using phrases like “You’re never touching me again” or “YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!” I am a lucky, lucky man to be married to such a wonderful woman.
• Babies poop and pee. A lot. Sometimes while you’re already in the middle of a diaper change. Sometimes all over their own clothing, especially when it’s most inconvenient. Sometimes on the scale at the doctor’s office (my daughter is now 2 for 2 in this regard). And if you’re really lucky, sometimes they’ll do it on you. And it really isn’t a big deal – you learn to shake it off very quickly.
• Diaper changes are not nearly as difficult as I thought they’d be – unless your child happens to be kicking you in the sack while you attempt this. My little girl simply cannot keep her legs still during a change.
• My daughter is quite possibly the only person in the world who farts more than I do.
• Much of your conversations center around poop and pee, as the previous bullet points indicate. Why? Because, well, it’s the vast majority of what a newborn is capable of. They can also eat, sleep, and – best of all – scream *really* loud when you take the bottle away.
• Last bodily function-related point, I promise: Pampers are the best, because they’re snug and stretchy. Huggies are an acceptable substitute. Luvs suck. Despite claims to the contrary, the straps are about as flexible as a brick wall. Stay away at all costs.
• The proper procedure for a 4am feeding: Fix bottle, find something to watch on TV, then begin feeding. Do not attempt to channel surf while feeding the baby. You’re likely to turn yourself into a pretzel while holding the bottle in baby’s mouth with your chin.
• There is nothing on TV at 4am when it’s time for a feeding and changing. NOTHING. OK, Fresh Prince re-runs on Nick at Nite are passable – but do we really need 8 episodes in a row? Ya sure there’s nothing else in the vault there, guys?
• On a related note, daddy and baby now do a little dance to the Fresh Prince theme song. *sigh*
• As soon as you think you’ve got her sleep schedule figured out – it changes.
• Being on time for events can be a challenge, because invariably she’ll wake up hungry or need to be changed right before we’re ready to leave the house. At least now I have a good excuse for being late for things… my previous reason was simply that I suck at time management.
• It is truly amazing how ignorant many people without children are when it comes to opinions on child-rearing. I’m going to give a helpful hint: if you’ve never changed a diaper or experienced a 4am feeding, shut up. You cannot possibly know what the hell you are talking about. In fact, you’re probably doing more harm than good if people are actually foolish enough to listen. If I want advice I will ask our pediatrician, my in-laws, my mother, or someone else with, you know, actual experience. Would you take your car to get fixed by somebody whose knowledge starts and ends with his Hot Wheels collection? Exactly.
• I’m not immune to the above – I look back now on some of the opinions I held regarding child-rearing before becoming a father, and I am embarrassed at the level of ignorance I displayed. I can’t really claim to know what I’m doing yet, but I will always be learning.
• On a lighter note… devices that you can operate with one hand are unbelievably useful. I now consider my iPhone to be the best purchase I’ve made in years. I can easily check my email, catch up on RSS feeds, and set my fantasy hockey lineups while feeding the baby at the same time, and I never feel like I’m behind on anything.
• On a similar note, I have a new appreciation for video games that can be played one-handed. Carcassonne, Catan (which I just purchased largely because of this), and Uno are the games I’m playing most these days… unless the wife is gracious enough to take the baby for a bit while I play some Rock Band or Guitar Hero.

But the most important thing I’ve learned: all of the challenges, the little inconveniences, the drastic changes in lifestyle and schedule are so worth it, because my little girl is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love her with all my heart.

I don’t really know what I’m doing yet, nor may I ever truly know everything I should – despite the impressive bullet list above – but I’m going to try my hardest to be the best dad I can be, and I hope that someday my daughter will think I did good.

I’m still pretty torn up about Kevin Everett.  I’m so glad he’s starting to regain some movement,  but he’s got such a long way to go that anything but cautious optimism is probably misguided.

In other news, I cleaned out my dresser tonight and discovered I had 50 T-shirts. Who in the hell needs 50 T-shirts? No wonder I couldn’t fit anything else in there.

Football season is around the corner, and that means it’s time for fantasy football drafts… first one is on Sunday, then the draft for my league is Tuesday, and finally the office league draft on Labor Day night. I can hardly wait.

I’ll put up pictures of the new house at some point… when it’s presentable enough to take pics of

It’s hard to know what to say about this, other than “wow”.  We’ve been planning this for quite some time, but it still seems hard to believe that it’s actually happening.  I just hope that I’ll be as good of a dad as my wife seems to think I’ll be.  At least I know we’ll have plenty of support, since we’ll be living very close to her parents soon.

It’s weird knowing that the entire focus of your life is about to change.  Yet, at the same time, it’s pretty darn cool.

I’m glad to see these crooks get slapped around a bit after the experience I had when I decided to order a new laptop back in January. I’m especially pleased that it’s happening in my home state.

I didn’t qualify for Dell’s “interest-free” line of credit. I’d love to know what one actually has to do to qualify for this mythical interest-free credit, because my credit score is outstanding – but that’s just a minor annoyance compared to what I went through to cancel the unwanted line of credit for which I *was* approved, the one that offered the low, low rate of 22.74% APR. (Yeah, can’t imagine why I didn’t want to keep that line of credit – what a deal.) It took three phone calls to finally get this done, including one with a liar who assured me that the account would never be activated because I didn’t make a purchase. (The card arrived in the mail a couple days after that conversation.)

Then they refused to send me confirmation that the account was closed because I didn’t accept the terms and conditions. So…. you won’t tell me you’ve closed an account unless I accept the terms, which would in fact mean I want the account open. Um, OK. My brain still hurts over that one. Anyway, once I started using initials such as “BBB” I got the confirmation letter I was looking for.

Buy a Dell if you must, but stay far, far away from their credit department unless you consider sanity to be overrated. Dell lost my business with this BS.

Oh, and I still don’t have a new laptop.

I’ll be keeping a close eye on this situation. I wonder if I might potentially be involved in a settlement. I’d consider that a fair trade for the slight hit my credit score likely took as a result of this fiasco.